Gosh, these times are strange, aren’t they? Certainly something to remember, that’s for sure. I loved the beginning of lock down. I loved my children, they enjoyed me home schooling them, we limited screen time VERY well. My response to everything they asked me to join in was “yes, certainly!” Now, 5 weeks in, I’m finding this all a bit harder. OK, understatement! I have to dig deep to not complain. Anyone else? Split focus with your amazing kids/ work = stress & guilt party, doesn’t it?
Yes it’s hard, YES, it could be worse, but yes our feelings of stress and frustration and sometimes boredom are very real. But I’ve been taught that there’s ALWAYS a way to change our own personal atmosphere. Nobody can change the reality of having to stay at home, lose your job or continue to work while trying to home school your own little beloveds. We can’t change that we miss hugs, miss our friends, miss hanging out in the playground after school drop off and miss the buzz of our favourite coffee shop. We can’t change that we can’t see loved ones, go on our summer holidays, or plan ahead - but one thing we CAN control is our response to it. Respond or react? Where do we lie on the scale? I know for sure that I’m more on the react scale at the moment, but I know that I can change that and I’m ready to bring joy back by controlling the one thing I can at the moment - my response.
Let’s give this a bit of scientific back up: “If left unchecked, the tension people feel in relation to the daily grind, financial pressure or relationship problems, have a way of impacting a person’s mental health. Without even being aware, our internal dialogue has an impact upon our emotional well-being. Whatever we feel emotionally has a direct impact on what happens in our brain (neurologically) and body (biologically).” (Dr Robi Sonderegger)
So in a desperate attempt to change the narrative, I’ve pulled together a few things that really help me to regain my focus and joy:
1) EXERCISE: When you’re worried, or under stress, a small part in your brain called the amygdala releases a protein to your adrenal gland, to release cortisol. If you don’t deal with your angst, it creates more cortisol, and if it isn’t burned up during exercise, it’s converted into a “special type of fat that acts like poison” and will disrupt “well being” chemicals. Without these neuro chemicals, we’ll struggle to maintain health and emotional well being. We need to get out and exercise every day, otherwise this stress chemical will just build up and cause problems in our body. I find that these days, we’re going out for our “exercise” walk as a family, and I see how much the kids need it. They literally run the WHOLE way. But actually, are we remembering to beat it out with our own exercise? If you can’t get out alone to go for a run or a cycle, pop on some Les Mills workouts or dance routines from You Tube, kids love it too. Dance parties with the kids are also such good de-stressers, and what fun to throw some silly shapes. Corona beach bod here we come, and cortisol out you go - win win!
We were having a trying morning, an instantly a little bit of George Ezra cheered us up, so much so that we got the tripod and danced to the camera, for close on an hour!
2) SING: We were made to love music. There’s something in us that responds to music, it speaks to our feelings and our situations and has the power to change our stance, and it’s actually a biblical principle that if we sing in hard times, we kinda shake that feeling. We can hear a good song on the radio in the car, pump it up and belt it out, and something resonates inside of us so we feel instantly better. At least once a day, let’s sing. Really sing. Ask Alexa to turn on an upbeat, full of positivity song and hit it. Anything with good, healthy lyrics will do, as you’ll be enthusing life into yourself by singing the words over yourself, your feelings and your situation, and you’ll find your attitude change wile you do.
3) CHOOSE JOY: Ok, I’m not talking sunshine and rainbow moods and candyfloss thoughts all the time, but I AM talking about being responsible for where our thoughts and feelings take us. When we’re in a spiral of stress or frustration, seeing full laundry baskets while there’s a load in the wash and 3 loads still to be folded, these are little stressers. But what do we do with those? At that point it’s our choice as to what to do with those thoughts and feelings that invade us inevitably bringing us down. React or respond? The easiest way to combat the urge to choosing a slump or complaining is to break out a smile and some gratitude. It’ll be the last thing we feel like doing, but it’ll change our perspective. Feeling these things negatively isn’t a problem, it’s staying in those feelings that is, and gratitude here, choosing joy, is the winner winner chicken dinner.
4) STOP and assess: The world is different, our little worlds have shaken and the norm is no longer an option in this temporary state. We can do the best with what we’ve got, but we’re all learning our new normal and our “ideal” life model has been shaken to the ground. Are we “living for the end” of this dreaded virus, or are we still choosing to see 2020 as a gift of another year, day by day? Because I fear if we constantly sing the tune of waiting for this all to be over, we’ll miss the gold we can find now. Today, tomorrow, for who knows how long. We can stop, re-assess and think of all the things we’ve learnt in lock down that we want to keep, and re-mould our “ideal” according to what we’ve learnt about ourselves. Then, focus on making this the best time we can. - not perfect - to the best of our ability. If our best for one day is snuggling on the sofa for a movie, then embrace it. If our best the next day is working like a boss, then so be it. Fluidity is our friend, and now more than ever no comparison - as your best will be different to someone else’s best, so don’t let their best make your best feel inferior. For years it seems all we’ve wanted is for the world to stop spinning just for a moment, so we can slow down and have a rest, though I think once we do, we are faced with the reality of how our life is, and it becomes harder to hide from the things that bug us, mainly about ourselves and our values, which is why a lot of us just can’t rest. All facades are gone. This is our slow down world time, and we’ll never get a time like it again, probably ever. Will we embrace it’s slower rhythms & let it change us or will we let it pass.
Most of our “home school” times either start or end in tears, and I’ve learnt that that’s okay. We’re all learning, and stress needs to take a back seat.
And finally, find a way to laugh everyday. And hopefully, from all this, we learn again how to enjoy ourselves and to count the little things as the blessings that they are, we rekindle old friendships and add value into people’s lives. We find how to really belly laugh again, and be in the moment, whatever the moment is. We give each other freedom to be themselves and we don’t hide our true selves from the world, because we’ve learnt to appreciate ourselves and what it is to have true, real joy and the fullness thereof.
As always, I’ve bared my heart, and I’d love your feedback, and remember, whatever your lockdown looks like, we’re in this together. I am in no way the best example of lock down life, but I’m so grateful to now be aware of how to see it and hopefully live it. One day at a time, let’s not let it define us negatively, but give it the chance to shape us for the better.
All my love,
K xx